Monday, January 3, 2011
My name is Jessica and I'm a Frapaholic. It has been five and half hours since my last frappucino (yes, I realize that sounds more like confession than an AA introduction). That’s right, I am a member (potentially the founder) of Starbucks Addicts Anonymous although I don’t know how “anonymous” it can be when all of the baristas at your local Starbucks know you by name and drink order. Even my three year old daughter knows my complicated order down to the double blending. I can’t help but chuckle (and cringe at how far this addiction has gone) when I hear her little voice fire off my drink of choice – “decaf white mocha frappucino double blended with whip.” Pretty soon, I’ll be her sponsor.
She recently had a meltdown when we stopped for a fix and found the doors locked and drive-thru blocked. They had closed early on Christmas Eve which certainly didn’t help with our withdrawals. Needless to say, we weren’t feeling very merry at all!
How did it get to this, you may be asking? And how could I have dragged my daughter with me? I ask myself the same question daily. Never a coffee drinker, I used to treat myself to a Cookies and Cream Freezer at the Barnie's in the Florida Mall during shopping trips. Barnie's was soon replaced gradually by a twice a week visit to Dunkin Donuts for a Cappucino Blast. Before I knew it, I was introduced to a new "dealer" who had the most potent stuff on the streets - Starbucks and my drink of choice was the Cafe Vanilla Frappucino. I was hooked! What began as a multi-week visit became a daily necessity. There were times, I admit, I would hit up my "dealer" for seconds. I was a junkie but I didn't care, each sip of that liquid gold made it's effects on me worthwhile. I suppose it isn't the worst addiction to have. In fact, I have even watched in horror, individuals addicted to eating toilet paper or sleeping with their hair dryer. I have heard Starbucks coffee being compared to drugs but in reality, my addiction is far less harmful.
Still, no more! I stand (ok, you caught me), I sit here today, to say that I am quitting cold turkey. Wait, let me be honest and realistic, I quit going EVERYDAY cold turkey but altogether is just plain cruel. It will be a weaning process, where I allow myself one a week not only to satisfy my craving but to reward myself for my progress. I tried this before and it worked for about a week before I fell off the wagon. That is why I am enlisting YOU (yes, YOU) - all of my followers/readers - to keep me in check. Do whatever it takes - send me texts, post on my Facebook wall, take away my car keys (you get the drift) - to encourage me to keep up with my mission. My habit has come at a great cost - both financially and physically. Instead of losing money and adding pounds, I want to drop weight and gain self-confidence!
There's so much more I would rather be increasing than calories including healthier eating habits, an exercise routine, a better self-image - you get the picture. This is not a resolution, this is a lifestyle change. I do not want to turn back or relapse. I want to do this for my girls and for my husband of course but most importantly, I want to do this for myself. I miss looking in the mirror and liking the girl looking back at me.
Sometime this week, I plan on hopping in my car and taking a drive to make a purchase towards something that I am hoping to turn into my new addiction: a bicycle. I haven't had a bicycle since I was a teenager so I hope when I start riding, it comes back to me just like riding a...(uh, you get it). I am also hoping to either join a gym or regularly attend a yoga, zumba, pilates or other aerobic/dance class. It would be great to have a partner in crime as nothing is more motivating than someone to hold your hand (as they pull my lazy butt off the couch).
I'm really excited about the new Jess. Hoping by the end of the year, riding my bike, snacking on carrot sticks or apples and smiling about how great I look and feel will be the new usual for me!