Tuesday, May 21, 2013
It’s almost unimaginable that as of today, I have a daughter in the latter half of her first decade – that’s right, I am mother to a six year old! It may be cliché but it really does seem like it was just yesterday that I fell in instant-love with the six pound munchkin whose shrill cries coming from her tiny lungs filled the air…and my heart. Up to that point, it was the most amazing sound to ever gratify my ears. Fast forward six years later, the air is still full of noise from that same set of pipes except instead of sweet whimpers, it’s continuous chatter.
I remember the day I saw the plus sign on the pregnancy test and that it had not yet hit me on exactly what was to come. A few weeks later, however, I drove to work after my first ultrasound appointment with a first look at the little life growing inside of me. As I listened to the song “Baby Mine,” I cried thinking of this precious gift that my husband and I had created (with the help of our loving Creator – Revelations 4:11) and started to anticipate what she would be like (yes, I immediately had the sense that I was having a girl and sure enough, my feelings were confirmed a few months later at another ultrasound visit). Then on May 21, 2007, I met my daughter and I was truly, undoubtedly a mom. And that's when life really began!
There are so many ways I could describe this beautiful blessing of mine. She is extremely sensitive – both in the way that she is fragile and vulnerable with her feelings but also as a thoughtful, considerate soul who is perceptive to others’ feelings. She has a playful sense of humor, a desire to please others, a stubborn determination, and a heart made of 24 carat gold. R is just as lovely on the outside as she is on the inside with a smile that saturates me with a warmth all over, eyes that speak of innocence and approachability, and a little button nose that is just asking to be pinched!
One thing I want her to know is how much I believe in her. She is smart and incredibly talented especially when it comes to drawing. I wish I could have a room simply dedicated to holding all of the pictures she has carefully and thoughtfully drawn/colored from her splendid imagination - a room where I could escape from reality and be immersed in one of her castles, gardens or sandy beaches. She has the potential to be an amazing artist!
In reflecting on the past six years, the thing that resonates most is that she is the person that made me a mom. She taught her daddy and I how to be parents – starting with the sleepless nights (oh, there were so many) to the heart-stopping scares (her horrible gag reflexes meant several choking episodes) to the happier times (more of these than anything else) where we watched as she learned something new or saw something amazing for the first time. First words, first steps and all of the other firsts are exciting with each child but it can’t compare to the firsts of your first!
As quick as each day and year have gone by since bringing sweet R into the world, it is even more sad to think that this day has already come and gone. She is already tucked away in bed (after a day just like any other) and hopefully dreaming of things that make her happy like princesses or flower fields while I am out here reminiscing on as many memories of her infancy as I can dig up in my dwindling memory bank. She may at times be six going on sixteen but in so many ways, she is still that shrieking little siren that barely fit into newborn sized clothes but who completely stole my heart that Monday morning in May!
Sunday, March 17, 2013
It has been 156 weeks, 1096 days, 26,304 hours and 1,578,240 minutes (or in simpler terms, three years) since Hurricane P blew into our lives. Looking at those numbers, it seems like such a long time but like a tropical storm, it has been a whirlwind. Where have those weeks, days, hours and minutes gone? They’ve slipped through my fingers…my tight grip isn’t quite tight enough to hold on to those precious moments.
As the day draws to a close, I find myself reminiscing on the last three years. As recounting with my friends earlier, I remember holding my little butterball (she was 2.5 lbs. bigger than her sister) in the operating room. An hour or so later, in the recovery room, my dark haired little eskimo baby latched on like a pro…fast forward three years and she still is enamored with the milk makers. Since the beginning, she has been a ball of fire. Trying to get a few hours of sleep in the hospital, I sent Little P to the nursery (gasp, I know, I sent her away…it’s much easier to do with second children, trust me). Within minutes, the nurses called me requesting her to be picked up as she was keeping all of the other babies awake with her wails. To this day, she commands attention and makes her wishes known loudly and proudly.
In so many ways, she is still mommy’s baby – whether carrying around her beloved Goo Goo, clutching onto my chest, or snuggling against me to fall asleep. Then on the other hand, she is such a big girl. She poses thoughtful questions, sings (quite well) along to new hits (Maroon 5’s “One More Night” or Taylor Swift’s “I Knew You Were Trouble) and oldie but goodies (B52’s “Love Shack” or Spice Girls “Wannabe”),says beautiful prayers to Jehovah, and enjoys salad, soup and spicy food. Oh and in true spitfire fashion, her favorite color is red.
Before she came along, I was wrapped up in so much love for her sister that I was afraid to bring another child into the world. Afraid I could never love another like I did my first. Magically, my heart expanded and made room (and then some) for my sweet pea. She has stolen the hearts of everyone – her sister is enamored by her, her grandparents beam with pride, and our friends have deep affections for (some are ready to sign the adoption papers).
After three years, I have learned so much about her and from her. She teaches me patience (mostly because she tests it so much), she shows me bravery (showing no fear with much at all), and she imparts sheer delight (with each flash of her signature “crazy eyes”). As desperate as I am to freeze time, I am curious and anxious to see what is in store for my spunky, passionate, witty, beautiful daughter. She is a girl, who like her mother, is stubborn but considerate, affable but cautious, smart but silly, and babyish yet blossoming.
Thank you my darling P for showing mommy that her heart is big enough for a personality as big as yours. Mommy loves you (and your sister) under the sea (my little mermaid) and over the moon (my little star).